


3 Moments Of Confusion

by gimmekensei



Category: Bleach
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cute, M/M, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gimmekensei/pseuds/gimmekensei
Summary: Shuhei Hisagi might seem serious and innocent at the surface, but boy oh boy did he go about some bizarre approaches to weird situations.
Relationships: Hisagi Shuuhei/Muguruma Kensei
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	3 Moments Of Confusion

**#1 Spilled Ink:** **  
**  
The first thing Kensei expected to see was maybe some candles around the bed, heck even some roses tossed into the mess and a naked, ready Lieutenant of his laid out on their bed. What he didn’t expect to see was a confused Shuhei Hisagi wildly washing his hands. That in of itself wasn’t too problematic. It was the fact that his lieutenant's hands were dyed dark blue, was well quite bizarre and rather unexpected.  
  
“...Want to explain what happened?” Kensei finally asked once he managed to drag his attention away from the mess on his lieutenant's soapy hands. Apparently Shuhei had been concentrating so hard at what was at hand, that he jumped a little when the Captain approached him from behind and spoke up.  
  
“A-Ah, well some ink spilled when I was finishing the paperwork, and it got all over and made a mess which I tried to prevent…” Hisagi rambled a little bit but didn’t stop scraping away and soaking his hands in soap. “I can’t get rid of the color and I’d rather not look like I squished blueberries all day.”  
  
“Reasonable to want that.” Kensei bit the inside of his cheek to prevent any laughter from spilling from his lips. This whole weird event was definitely making his day, and possibly on his list of top ten moments with his lover. Whoever made Shuhei this innocent and yet deadly as a lieutenant, thank you. “Alright, let me have a try at it kid.” Managing to get his need to laugh under control, the Captain stepped forward and stood beside Shuhei as he took a washing cloth, soaked it in warm water and started to rinse the lieutenant's hands with it. Five minutes later of such repeated motions and well, it didn’t seem to be getting any better, even though the towel was thoroughly dyed blue.  
  
“Captain…” Hisagi finally mumbled and sheepishly looked up. “Maybe we should call for Akon for assistance.”  
  
“Why would we do that?” Kensei groaned out, getting aggravated with his useless attempts. “He deals with science, not childish accidents.”  
  
Shuhei couldn’t help but pout just a little. “Well, it was a better idea than what you’re doing. Don’t they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. And well, sir...you have been doing the same thing...without any change in sight.”  
  
Kensei gave one blank stare before tossing the wet towel in Shuhei’s face before walking off to their bedroom with Shuhei’s laughter following behind him. Damn that smart mouth of his brat’s. Once he stripped himself of his haori and the rest of his clothes, Kensei was going to take care of those pretty lips by making them wrap around his cock instead. That'll teach him something~  
  
**#2 Missing Puzzle Piece:** **  
** **  
** Things were running smoothly, thank god. Mashiro was zipped up and munching away at some candy while leaving Kensei alone. Praise the heavens really. Paperwork was almost completely signed and there weren’t any recent hollow attacks. The sun was shining and fuck, the day was going so eventfully well, that Kensei smiled. Almost.  
  
Glancing up when the office door was thrown open, he watched in confusion as a breathless Shuhei Hisagi slammed the door right behind him and without a single word of acknowledgment, he plopped himself straight down in the chair across Kensei’s desk.  
  
“Well?” Was the first word past the Captain’s lips as he stared, astonished at his Lieutenant's out of place behavior. Last time he checked, it was Mashiro causing all the noise around the Ninth division, not Shuhei. “Oi, got a brain in there kid? Speak up will you?” He tossed in a little more into the conversation to get the ball rolling. “Sir, please just pretend we were discussing Ninth matters.”  
  
“Eh why? Hate to remind you, Shu but you’ve been gone all day... as you should be. Today is a day off and don’t make me order you to return your ass home.” Kensei barked, already acting like the true Captain he was at the end of the day.  
  
“Sir, please…” Shuhei sighed a little hopelessly before casting his gaze upon his mentor, Captain and lover. “I’m just here to establish an alibi for myself.”  
  
“...the fuck does that mean?” Right as the Captain spit that out, Kira came charging in, looking annoyed and triggered. But then again that’s a common trait for emos and well...fuck Kensei in the ass if he was wrong, but Kira was the top emo bitch in soul society.  
  
“Where’s my puzzle piece Shuhei? I know you took it, I know you were in my office a few minutes ago and I swear-” Kira suddenly stiffened and gulped when he spotted an angry looking Kensei staring daggers at him. Thanks to Shuhei’s bizarre behavior and Kira's grumbling fit, his day was no longer peaceful. Damn these two brats.  
  
“....ah...forgive me for the interruption sir. I was just meaning to ask...was Hisagi-kun in your office all day? Perhaps he...took something of mine…”  
  
“Calling Shu a thief? You’ve finally grown some balls between those legs of yours, huh?” Kensei bit out.  
  
“N-No sir, but-”  
  
“Oi, no buts. And second of all..” Kensei caught the silent pleading glance from his boyfriend. Damn it to hell. At least this would verify that he was definitely getting sex tonight as his reward. “He’s been here all fucking morning because he can’t get freaking paperwork out of his system. Got it??” He growled the last part out, and made a shooing motion with his hand. “I figure you know the way out?”  
  
“Ah, yes Captain…” Kira flushed in embarrassment and immediately bowed as politely as he could before leaving the ninth members behind in the aftermath of the entire mess.  
  
“....gonna explain what just happened?” Kensei asked, casting a look once more on his brat.  
  
“..... Shuhei paused before reaching into his pocket to grab a puzzle piece and place it on the Captain’s desk. “Kira wouldn’t stop gushing over his Captain and well...I had to put a stop to it.”  
  
Kensei stared down at the puzzle piece in disbelief before roaring in laughter. “Ha! You little fucker!” Change of opinion. Kensei’s day was going by perfectly still. **  
**  
**#3 Cooking Time:** **  
**  
“Look kid, I love you from the bottom of my heart for some reason. But keep insisting that we should teach Mashiro how to cook, and I won’t let either of you into my kitchen. Period.” Kensei growled out, waving his spatula as he spoke. He liked things done a certain way and dammit, he would have it! Apron? Check. Cooking materials prepared? Check. Mashiro kicked out of existence? Not yet checked off today’s bucket list.  
  
“But Captain.”  
  
“I mean it...I’m sick and tired of cleaning weird shit off the stove whenever she pops her head up!”  
  
“...What if I clean it?” Shuhei chipped in.  
  
“Then I’ll miss out on fucking your ass. I said no, and I mean it. Leave her outside-” Kensei spoke up as he walked into the kitchen before suddenly yelling at the top of his lungs. “MASHIRO!!!” Seemed a certain green haired woman had already struck. The cake batter was on the ceiling and some weird purple shit was all over the stovetop. Shuhei didn’t even want to ask what she was trying to make.  
  
“Ah...Mashiro...I would run.” Shuhei mouthed noiseless with his lips and watched with a sigh as Kensei charged after his second lieutenant with his dear spatula. Well...while those two were fighting and yelling their heads off, Shuhei was going to get to cleaning this mess up.


End file.
